Sunday, December 13, 2009
YES! You are more than a Statistic!
Here is a woman, Alicia, who attended a 5 day training on DBT and could not wait to write about all she learned!
However, after writing about 1 day of DBT, she seems to be so caught up in her "present moment" she did not update after day 1. Sadly, those of us who did not attend the *professional training* classes will forever be in the darkness about the training.
Or, maybe it was on the Linehan compound and she was "off'd" for opening her mouth...I'm not sure which..
I used to function better than I do now. Yes, I was a mess on the inside, but I still functioned better. I had two sets of competing thoughts. One of them was practical and kept me going, the other set matched (and tried to explain) my terrible feelings. I don't remember those thoughts anymore. Therapy strengthened the practical set and pushed the set that matched my feelings way back into my unconscious. Now that set has been transformed and it torments me with hypochondria, flashbacks and nightmares than run my life no matter how badly I don't want them to.
Eventually, Precious the cat offloaded her dead burden outdoors somewhere. I am sure that kitten must have died. I wonder where she left it. I picture her as having left it in some barren and forsaken place. Some terrible wasteland, perhaps the only place that accepts such unwanted embarrassments -- a dumping ground for shame. I know that place well and I often long to get out of there, but I don't know how anymore. I used to know, but then I got 'help'. Now when people want to help me, I just automatically take my burden to the wasteland because that's what I've been trained to do. The humans keep hurting me and I don't know where else to go.